Q: My husband is constantly telling me that "I should not be feeling that way." I understand your teaching on validation and seem to never get it from my husband. Any suggestions?

A: It is futile for us to tell someone not to "feel". God wired us as emotional beings and feelings are not something we can do away with. Solomon challenges you to "Guard your hearts, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). Everything about your life flows from your heart. Every word, action and reaction.

Think of your emotions as God's information system. They inform you about your needs and your deepest beliefs. When you feel a strong emotion—fear, let's say, or grief—your body is trying to tell you something important. Without your emotions, you're like a bicycle trying to function on only one wheel. Emotions are simply data telling you what you have been thinking and what your body is going through right now.

Emotions are not a right or wrong issue. They are simply data that tells us what is going on.

Now, how do you change your husband or his approach to you? You can't! You can only change yourself and begin to see your self as deeply loved by God. Most of us simply do not understand the role that emotions are supposed to play in who we are. We do not appreciate how God designed us to function as fully emotional beings.

Start working on you. Stop working on him. Allow your life to be a testimony to him.

Blessings!

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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