Q: How do you handle that one member of the small group that is always preaching? And he is not even the leader. He is constantly hi-jacking the group wanting to straighten us all out.

A: I know the one you for whom you are speaking. It is the person that never can relax and enjoy your company because they are always in "teaching" mode? They always have a better way of doing something. They have just a little bit more knowledge in just about every area of life and they are not shy in sharing it with you.

You know why I know this person so well? For the majority of my marriage I was that guy. My wife Norma constantly got my mini-sermons on how she could improve or become a better person. I want to help the store owner find more efficient ways to run his business. Or the city worker find a cleaner, cheaper way to lay the 18" sewer line up a main road in our town. Our attempts to want to "help" people can become so self-serving and yes, I'll even use the word obnoxious. As followers of Jesus, the last thing we want to do is be obnoxious with the truth.

The strongest style of teaching I know of is camaraderie. To be perfectly honest with you, even to the point of threatening what I do for a living, lecture style is one of the worst. Why? We forget 95% of what we hear after 72 hours. Paul puts it this way in 1 Timothy: "Treat younger men as brothers." I am to treat older men like fathers, or instructors. And older men are to treat younger men like brothers. Camaraderie! Brotherhood! Fraternity! Community!

Build biblical community with this gentleman who is always in "preaching" mode. Don't give up on the small group too soon. Give the leader of the group time to gently instruct. You can become dear friends with this gentleman and maybe at some point, down the road, be able to share with him. Allow God to use this gentleman to teach you patience and graciousness.

Isn't that something? You can learn from him. How ironic! You'll probably learn more in the process of building community than you will from his mini sermons.

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

Print this page

E-mail this page

Bookmark this page

Back to top