Q: I just had one of those peer reviews at work. I did not fair so well. It seems that some of my co-workers think I am too opinionated. I do have strong opinions that flow from my strong personality. Is being opinionated a bad thing?

A: When it comes to strong opinions, it's been said that there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.

Paul addressed the church at Corinth over the issues of opinions. Out of balance, opinions can tear a relationship apart and destroy a church. In the eighth chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul says this, "Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God" (verses 1-3). The issue is meat sacrificed to idols. Some believed you could eat, as Paul believed. He shares his argument in verses 4-6. Others believed it was forbidden.

Relationships are more important than issues. My opinion on life's non-essential issues should not risk relationships. Paul makes it clear that we all have opinions, but love is far more important. This text teaches us to back down on being so opinionated. "Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up."

Opinions, we've all got 'em, we just need to learn their priority in our relationships. They are at the bottom of the list. Remember, your approach is everything in a relationship. How you say it is more important than what you say. It is probably not your opinions that are irritating your co-workers, but rather your approach.

Paul believed eating meat sacrificed to idols was o.k., but he was gentle in his approach with other opinions: "Be careful that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block…if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall" (verses 9, 13). That's a radical departure from one's opinion.

I think the key with your co-workers is that they think you are TOO opinionated. Add softness to your personality. That will bring great balance.

Blessings.

© Copyright 2007 Smalley Relationship Center

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