Q: My husband gets bothered at the amount of time I spend on the phone with my mom. Especially after a fight, I call her for counsel, and that really bugs him. Is it ok to call my mom after a fight?

A: By no means is having a great relationship with your mom a bad idea. I'm thrilled you are that close to her. Let me offer you another idea for a place to turn after a fight.

In John 15: 1-5, Jesus instructs, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 'I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.'".

I believe that passage is a beautiful description of what God desires to do in and through you. Jesus is the vine, you are the branch. As you place yourself into the vine through grafting, all that Jesus offers is now available to you.

When you connect to Christ, God's only vine here on earth, Christ sends His Holy Spirit to "drip" the living sap into your veins. All you have to do is get connected, grafted, and then, labor to "rest in Him." Then, you can catch yourself acting like God does. God even gives you the desire to hide His words within our hearts.

For me, that's one of the main ways that the "sap" enters my veins. As I meditate on His commands, loving Him and others all day long, He transforms me through His Word.

Take any section of Scripture and discover for yourself how it runs through the vine and branch concept. Everything in Christ comes to new life.

The steps to receive His love and power:

1. I confess (admit) to God that I have been grafted into all of the wrong things, parents, societies beliefs and ways, friends and all other influences up to this point today. I confess that I only want your beliefs controlling me and I only want you to be my God and abide from now on into your vine, Jesus.



2. I repent by cutting myself off right now. I feel myself falling to the ground.



3. By your "grace", you are lifting me up and carrying me to the vine because I admit that I am weak, helpless, "poor in spirit." You, God, are inserting me within the vine and using your sap to seal me for eternity giving your life juices of love and all of your other characteristics now and forever more.



4. With your power, God, running through my veins, I will use that power to listen to you by hiding your "key" words within my heart. I will graft your words upon my own heart so that I think, speak and act like you. Gary "doesn't live any more, but his new life is hid in You, by faith and the life that I now live, I live by the Son of God who loves me and gave Himself for me." Then, I will have Your beliefs and Your ways showing within me as a light to the world.

All of this means that when you're faced with a conflict, the first person to call out to is God—not your family or friends. As a pastor, I have the opportunity of performing weddings quite often. When I conduct a wedding I usually say, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" I literally mean give. Sometimes a mom will come up and say, "I don't feel like I am losing my daughter today; I feel like I am gaining a son." I am quick to say, "No, you are losing a daughter."

Don't turn to your mom, dad, sister, brother or best friend in order to find an ally. You will not always find the best counsel. Instead, turn to God first. The Bible tells us that we can ask God for wisdom and He will give it. God is your lifeline. But he only gives it to the humble branches who admit their helplessness before Him.

© Copyright 2008 Smalley Relationship Center

Print this page

E-mail this page

Bookmark this page

Back to top