Question of the Week - Smalley Relationship Center

with Dr. Gary Smalley

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home » articles » question of the week

Question of the Week
Week of 04/23/07

Q: How far physically can you go while dating? My boyfriend, hopefully soon-to-be fiance, and I want to be together so badly.

A: Here is how physical or sexual intimacy progresses:

Eye to body
Eye to eye
Hand to hand
Hand to shoulder
Hand to waist
Hand to face
Hand to head
Mouth to face
Mouth to mouth
Mouth to body
Body to body

Sexual touching is designed to bring pleasure to a married couple. Some will draw lines at hand holding and light kissing prior to marriage. Others will push it and ramp up the sexual RPM's too early. Delay is part of God's design for sex.

Twice in the Song of Solomon, we are warned not to "Arouse or awaken love before its time." Solomon does it right by waiting in order to give himself fully to his bride.

My challenge to you is to avoid any contact that would arouse or lead to arousal before it's time. I promise you, it will be worth the wait!

Blessings!

Information provided in the Question of the Week column is provided for educational and informational use only. The column is not necessarily created or approved by a certified mental health professional, and is not intended to be used in lieu of professional medical or psychological help.

We suggest you consult an appropriate health care provider in your community regarding how the information in the column applies to your specific situation. Phone numbers are provided solely as a service to our users, and in accordance with the Terms and Conditions:

If you desire to find a Christian counselor in your area, we highly recommend the Focus on the Family referral numbers:
800-232-6459 | 800-494-7355 (emergency)

If your marriage is in crisis, please contact Michael and Amy Smalley's Marriage Restoration Intensive program at (866) 581-0687. There are one-day Marriage Restoration Intensives for one couple and one therapist as well as two-day Marriage Restoration Group Intensives for up to 6 couples.

For the National Institute of Marriage Intensives information call: 866-875-2915

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