Question of the Week - Smalley Relationship Center

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Question of the Week
Week of 08/27/07

Q: Our church hired our 4th youth pastor in 6 years. We can't seem to keep them. Any suggestions for keeping and caring for #4?

A: Let me start by encouraging every parent to take responsibility for the teen's spiritual growth. According to Deuteronomy 6, the Home is the primary disciple making tool of our children, not youth pastors. This makes sense due to the fact that parents will spend 2000-3000 hours with their teens and youth leaders spend around 40 hours. Christian parents have a far greater influence potential than do youth pastors. Many churches, pastors and parents place more responsibility on the youth leader's shoulders than does God. This may be one reason youth pastors last 7-11 months on average.

The best way to care for your youth pastor is the maximize the 1000's of hours you have with your teens and view the youth pastor's hours as supplementary, rather than primary. Don't get down on him by placing unrealistic expectations on his time. View him or her as an additional voice, repeating what you have already said at home.

Blessings on you, your church and new youth pastor!

Information provided in the Question of the Week column is provided for educational and informational use only. The column is not necessarily created or approved by a certified mental health professional, and is not intended to be used in lieu of professional medical or psychological help.

We suggest you consult an appropriate health care provider in your community regarding how the information in the column applies to your specific situation. Phone numbers are provided solely as a service to our users, and in accordance with the Terms and Conditions:

If you desire to find a Christian counselor in your area, we highly recommend the Focus on the Family referral numbers:
800-232-6459 | 800-494-7355 (emergency)

If your marriage is in crisis, please contact Michael and Amy Smalley's Marriage Restoration Intensive program at (866) 581-0687. There are one-day Marriage Restoration Intensives for one couple and one therapist as well as two-day Marriage Restoration Group Intensives for up to 6 couples.

For the National Institute of Marriage Intensives information call: 866-875-2915

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